Change Your Goals Into Achievements
Many of us flounder and struggle, unsure where to begin. We have big ideas and large goals that we want to accomplish, and it can be scary facing them without a plan. Even with a plan, we can fall short of our goal for a variety of reasons, such as a lack of motivation, inadequate support and accountability, and difficulty in maintaining it once we achieve our goal. It’s very easy and common to slip back to where we started.
We’ve interviewed Mary Doyle (owner of Park Avenue Fitness) and Cara Hopkins (Licensed Transformational Coach) on all these topics and compiled their answers for you to take advantage of — and trust us, there’s a lot of great information crammed onto the page!
Cara Hopkins
Mary Doyle
Have a specific question in mind? Use the Table of Contents to navigate.
Mary Doyle: First is the WHY! Why is this your goal? Write it down. Think about it. What will be different in your life if you attain that goal? What are you willing to change in your life to attain it? Make time for exercise? What will help you adopt a “no excuses” attitude and squeeze it into a busy life? Have you already tried to attain this goal? Why didn’t it work previously?
When you have a long-term goal, it’s important to keep checking in with yourself and, for some, setting up accountability with someone else so you don’t lose focus to begin with. For most people, goals need to be reassessed and altered as our priorities and life’s obligations change. When you’re not reaching your goal, sometimes it’s because what you thought was important isn’t. Constantly check in and reassess that end goal to stay motivated.
Cara Hopkins: In my experience as a Transformational Coach, there’s not a one-size-fits-all formula to ensure the achievement of goals. But there are some key principles and practices that I have found go a long way to achieving success.
Start by envisioning the specific future you want for yourself in the area of life where you have this goal. Ask yourself:
What does that future look like?
What does it feel like?
What difference will having achieved your goal make in your life and in the lives of the people around you?
What will be the actual impact?
What different experiences will you have?
What emotions will be present?
What circumstances will have changed when you’re living this fulfilled future?
This gets you present to why it matters to you to actually show up and do what it takes to achieve your goal. If you don’t have a compelling reason why you are taking on a given goal, and feel inspired by what it will bring to your life, you are likely to give up when it inevitably gets tough.
Next, get real about what it’s going to take—what kind of person do you need to be to fulfill your goal? What actions, behaviors, and attitudes will you need to step into? Where are you now, who have you been being in this area of your life, and what are the gaps between where you are now and where you want to be?
“Reflect on this without judgment.”
The purpose is to get present to what your current reality is, without any of it being wrong or right. It’s essential to be clear where you’re starting from in order to map out a plan to get to where you want to go.
Then, design a game plan that includes an outcome, milestones, and a timeline. Be committed to the game plan, but don’t be attached. You may start out with a very clear timeline and specific, measurable results, then real life shows up, and it doesn’t look like what you expected. That’s okay! Have your game plan be a guide, a structure that serves you, not an end-all-be-all that, if you don’t meet it, leaves you feeling unsuccessful. Bring flexibility, reevaluate, and make adjustments to the specifics, all while maintaining your commitment to the overall transformation you desire and the inspiring future you have envisioned for yourself.
MD: YES. Usually, our clients come to us with a big goal, and it’s our job to break that down into smaller steps. Think of goals like baking a cake. You won’t have a finished product or reach your goal if you don’t follow the right steps to get there. You don’t dump miscellaneous items at random into a bowl, bake at whatever temperature and time, and expect the cake to rise and be fabulous.
Similarly, one can’t become a doctor or lawyer without years of planning and education, which requires a lot of focus to attain.
Getting in shape and weight loss seem to be the only goals people generally set at random, without a plan to achieve them. Oh, we follow this program or that program, but rarely do we look at OUR own goals and life, and then break those down into attainable smaller goals. Instead of saying, I’m going to lose 40, set an actual system in place to achieve it and then have things or people in place to help shift gears when life throws that curve ball — because there’s always a curve ball.
CH: Larger goals definitely become more attainable when broken down into stages, steps, and milestones—with measurable outcomes and a timeline. What needs to happen when, specifically, to meet those milestones? You want to have a game plan that both stretches you and is realistic. Starting with that bigger picture vision that is both compelling and inspiring (why), you can imagine yourself having already achieved your goal. Then look at the steps between that future and now. We could call this backwards planning, or unfolding from the future to the present.
“It’s also important to bring flexibility to the process. ”
Some goals are more specific and require a more specific timeline than others. Don’t let the planning discourage or stop you. Start wherever you are. Sometimes we’re not ready for a clear and measurable goal or to map out a structured game plan. Maybe we just want to “feel better.” Think about what might be one way you could start to feel better, and take one step toward having that experience.
With each step, it’s kind of like filling your tank, little by little, to have enough in the tank to take on that bigger picture or more specific goal. If you are moving in the direction you desire, you are winning! Even small shifts, when implemented consistently over time, can amount to life-altering results.
MD: For losing weight, the “Lose It” app is great (we have no affiliation, we just use it personally!). But there are plenty of other apps out there, and even a piece of paper works. My biggest advice is to track what you’re eating. It can be a wake-up call to see what’s actually going into your system. Tracking your food intake forces you to think about it: Is this a healthy choice? Will this provide me with the nutrients that I need? Are these empty calories?
CH: Systems, structures, and tools can make all the difference when it comes to following through on taking the necessary actions to achieve goals. There is no one best or right way to do this—no particular tool that’s inherently better than another. It’s all about what works best for you in your life. That being said, I do have recommendations.
There are apps for everything now—find one that works for you in the area you’ve set your goal. Meditation, fitness tracking, food/alcohol tracking, sleep tracking, language learning, musical instrument learning—you name it, there’s an app out there for tracking and staying consistent with it!
It can be highly effective to schedule actions at specific times in your e-calendar, utilizing alerts and reminders to notify you.
For a low-tech option, use good old-fashioned Post-it notes. Stick them around in places you will see them to remind you of your goal, your action step, your new identity.
I also recommend habit-stacking—add your new, desired action on top of one you already consistently take.
Try making a promise or giving your word to someone who will supportively and reliably hold you accountable. It can be anyone in your life (at work, at home) or you can designate a specific “accountability buddy” or “power partner” whom you consistently check in with.
If you like to be creative, make a visual display of some sort, like a vision board or a progress poster. Find ways to have visual cues around you that keep you present to your goal and consistent in taking actions.
MD: It depends on what your goal is. But let’s say it’s fitness-related, what are you willing to do, and why is this your goal? Changes to your routine are needed; otherwise, you wouldn’t be here. But we need to acknowledge that it will take time, accountability, and dedication. So, what will help you stay motivated and on track? Using an app, as mentioned in the previous question, is a self-accountability tool. Using pen and paper? Still self-accountability.
“If you’re struggling with self-accountability, then it’s time to include others in your plan. ”
Share the information you've collected from that app or paper with another person. A nutritionist is a great example of someone who can help you tweak things to keep moving forward.
As trainers, we typically see people two to three times a week, but it also helps them stay accountable to get moving on the other days. Very few of us see clients one time a week or a month, but for those clients, we still provide the accountability they need to complete the workouts we have provided. Plus, setting up appointments makes it harder for you to skip your workout. This can be applied to many different goals, though. Set aside specific times to work on whatever it is you're focusing on.
CH: Support and accountability are critical. Especially when we’re talking about a goal that requires transforming long-established patterns. I find the best path to success is to assemble a team. Enlist friends, colleagues, and family members. Hire a professional. Find a mentor. Sign up for a class. Bring in tools and/or people who have experience, expertise, and focus specifically on what your goal is related to. Start with one powerful addition to your team, then you can expand from there.
Depending on the goal, the person, and the circumstances, sometimes what’s called for is a gentler approach, and sometimes it’s time to bring in the rigor. Either way, having a team in place with people who support, empower, and provide structure and accountability is never a bad idea.
MD: Do it with a friend! Get someone else to start with you. Whatever it is—starting a healthy eating plan, exercising, or even cleaning your closet—doing it with someone can make it fun. Or tell yourself that you’re just going to research it, and maybe you’ll find it not so daunting. I have that happen all the time with people coming to take tours at our studios. They say they HATE exercise, but then we make it fun. I still have a client who says she doesn’t like exercise, but she loves coming to Park Avenue Fitness.
CH: Start with self-compassion. Don’t make yourself wrong for being stuck. Give space for yourself to have that experience. Then you can dig a little deeper. Get present to what you're telling yourself about yourself in this area of your life. What are the limiting beliefs that are showing up even stronger than your desire to achieve your goal? Bring kindness, empathy, and a sense of encouragement toward yourself.
Most importantly, take a step, any step. That first step could be simply to talk it through with someone—to share about how and where you are feeling stuck. It’s important to honor where we are in the present, even when we’re struggling.
Another first step might be to invite someone else to join in—create your goal as a shared goal so you are not alone in your pursuit. Another first step could be to sign up and then show up for a class. Or make an appointment with a coach or a professional who will be that outside support to help get you started, with care and expertise, and help you stay on track.
It can be overwhelming when we think about trying to achieve a large or long-term goal. There can be plenty of complicated challenges, operating both consciously and subconsciously, that get in our way. Try to focus on one thing you can do now, that would move you in the right direction, and potentially bring you some encouragement. Find some way to get empowered, even if it’s in a small way, and build from there.
MD: There are two different questions there. For setbacks, it can be as simple as taking a vacation (or attending an event) and then resisting getting back to the routine. It’s important to schedule appointments before you leave, so that when you do get back, there isn’t an even longer break.
Again, having things that you enjoy is important, which is why we do a lot of small group training. When someone returns from vacation, everyone is so elated to have them back that it serves as motivation itself. For diet-related, holiday, and vacation, it’s the same advice. Just try to come back to the same weight you left, and practice maintaining it.
“Motivation is different for everyone. It’s important to know yourself.”
Do you need little rewards? I hit all my workouts this month, so I’m booking a massage. Or I lost 5 pounds this month, so I'm getting my toes done. Or make appointments to workout so that you can’t skip, or enter a weight loss contest with friends.
CH: Again, start with self-compassion. Achieving a goal is a process. Setbacks are to be expected, so remember to be kind to yourself when they happen. We are bound to experience fluctuations in our results and levels of motivation and commitment—those ups and downs are an integral part of the transformational process.
When taking on a goal, we are working to change behaviors and build new habits, and that doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Once you’ve accepted that, and you’re not making yourself wrong, take some time to reflect.
If you are consistently taking the actions you set for yourself, but not getting the results, perhaps a plateau is just a natural part of the process, and if you stay consistent with your actions, eventually the results will catch up. In that case, you might want to shift your focus to the action itself as the result, so you can continue to feel motivated and successful on your path, as long as you are taking the actions.
Or, you might need to reevaluate if the actions you’re taking are sufficient to achieve the results you are expecting. Are your expectations too high? Do you need to increase or improve the actions you’re taking?
If you feel like you have lost your way, start by forgiving yourself. Then get clear on what you are actually committed to. You made a commitment to your goal, but you're not consistently taking the actions that align with your commitment. So what are you really committed to? Getting to the bottom of this may require deep reflection. Working with a transformational coach and/or engaging with a trusted friend can help you uncover any blind spots and may be instrumental in getting unstuck.
Bottom line, don’t give up, even when you are feeling discouraged. Oftentimes, the toughest breakdowns are what lead to the biggest breakthroughs.
MD: It is actually easy to maintain. Don’t stop doing what is working! Don’t stop the appointments, workouts, getting on the scale, etc. Hold yourself accountable to not fall off the wagon by having systems in place. Nothing happens without a plan. You need to plan to succeed.
CH: Systems and structures—structures and systems! Having systems and structures in place that provide consistent support, that pull for you to stick with your new habits, are critical. Don’t relate to your goal as temporary—think in terms of adopting your new behaviors as lasting patterns, as a way of life. Become the person who lives the ways that support your ongoing success. It will require more energy in the beginning because you are rewiring long-established patterns. Over time, with persistence in your commitment to establish new behaviors, it simply becomes who you now are.
“Relate to your path as a way of living—a new way of being in your life going forward—an ongoing path for lasting transformation.”
Continue to tend to your environment. Have the people and places you are surrounded by support who you are now and the behaviors you are committed to. Build community, stay connected to your team. Maintain the relationships that encouraged and held you accountable earlier in your journey. Consider giving back to others who may be working toward similar goals. You might become a mentor or start a group helping people who are just starting out, like you once were. Supporting others can serve to motivate and inspire you to stay on track.
Continue to celebrate and acknowledge all of your growth and accomplishments along the way. Remember where you started, and how far you’ve come. Celebrate any and all accomplishments—big or small. The more you give yourself the experience of accomplishment, the more likely you are to be consistently living a life of accomplishment—to be the person who accomplishes what you set out to, in a lasting way.
